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One last word,
unheard of
petals like
tiny slippers like
childrens whispers.

Only.
She thought that such a time would never come, that forever would last at least until sunrise, but sunrise came, and coffee light scalded sleepless skin.The world was cinnamon, sharp and overly prescisely clear as the butterscotch sunshine fell into her eyes and she smiled. She smiled, and took it inside, to a telephone man with a looking-glass eye. "Please sir" said she, exquisitely lonely, "Today, you see, I am selling the sky." Silver-bell cherries rang in the doorway, as a filling-up no-one entered the room and to his surprise, he stepped into her life. "Miss, can you tell me, where am I going? I thought I knew once, but have since lost my way" A peppermint laugh from the girl at the counter, and on top of the counter, her troubles all laid. "Mister, you're never coming nor going, and nowhere is the name of the earth! Please sir, you see, I'm constantly dying, rewinding, unfolding, unflying, unseeing, undreaming, unexistance at birth!"

moonstruck, he followed as she stepped from creation, a shimmery sigh sliding soft from her lips, for each of us, she had silently spoken, is eternally standing on the edge of what is.
Powdery sweetness coated her lashes as she languidly slid the light from her soul
Her everything came and went with the moonshine,
And only in moonshine
could she ever be whole.
Chocolate breathing coated his sympathies with
spun-sugar stories and licorice lies
and as she stepped from the land of the living
he followed with the song of
'everything dies'
©2007-2009 ~SursumAlucinor
:iconsursumalucinor:

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:iconwhatthethundersaid:
hah! What to say about this. A macabre child's rhyme? A Carol creation? Any way, a very well written and intriguing little poem. My only suggestion is that you perhaps format it to look more like a poem--or is the effecr purposeful?
:iconsursumalucinor:
I wrote it while I wasn't thinking very well, honestly. I left it exactly the way I wrote it..save for one or two misspelled words. How would you suggest formatting it?
:iconwhatthethundersaid:
more line changes, i'd say. Set us stanzas to emphasize the ryme scheme, etc. but as is, it doesnt look at all bad--,aybe you should just leave it!
:iconsursumalucinor:
Thanks for the input. x3 ::trots off to mess around with it::

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May 3, 2007
1.7 KB

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